I have learnt ( in my short years of life) that it is not what or how much you do for someone.
It is always about whether or not they care.
To have sleepless nights and bruised egos from the putrid rejection that is man wasn't in the blueprints of our hearts right? Right?
Why live on the edge when you can sail across an ocean whose intentions are known and whose flaws are made apparent.
Why settle for cold coffee as you wait for him to hopefully peep through with his jolly smile and his annoying ability to make you mirror it.
Why? Why fold and fold yourself to try fit in the pocket of his heart only to be unfolded and used as scrap paper for the delicate love songs he will write for her.
Loving him was like an addiction or rather like trying to get clean and I know this because... well I been through some shit.
I'd wake up happy not thinking of the sweet crystals that melted on my tongue not a while ago.
Go about my life like the existence of my substance is peripheral.
Go through the motions, filling my day with this and that's, forcing myself to learn the ins and outs of non-substantial events in hopes that the grey would not infiltrate the superficial colours that filled my day.
Until it does.
Then he is all I think about.
Until I give in to his cold texts and snide comments about my attempt to have a life that doesn't involve him.
And I'd be happy with that. Happy with the side effects that came with his temporary high.
Stupid bitch huh.... yeah stupid....
So again, Why?
Why settle for side effects and half hearted commitments to non-interested culprits of ventricular gem. Well.... because we all want something that makes us feel like we exist. Maybe it's not the best
existence but an existence nonetheless....
By: Clementine Anne Strachan
addict article drugs infinity love
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